Reflecting Back on Sophomore Year

In the midst of playing too much League of Legends, sophomore year suddenly came to an abrupt and sobering end. I think the initial review of my second year in college paints a rather boring picture, that is, it seems as if I didn't really do much at all. It's easy to remember all the things you haven't done. What I find oddest, though, is that everything that happened in September felt ages ago, yet the year felt too fast and short. Being in college, therefore, seems like, excuse my lack of a more intellectual comparison, what I would perceive to be the epitomized "high" everyone on the floor of my apartment longs for on a weekend. Returning home brings me back a little. The overall lack of change of setup in my room since high school makes me feel young and immature except with all the memories of college. Yeah it's weird but it's a weird I'm damn going to miss when my next two years in college fly by without waiting for me. When I thought aloud to myself in Panama City Beach during Spring Break that I wish life would pause, it perfectly described how I've felt for the majority of the year. The beginning of the year felt normal but distant. Our minds seem more or less infant and without much knowledge but we've been indoctrinated with what America claims is knowledge. Nothing really waits, I think, until maybe our "mid-life crisis," when we finally realize that the past years in our lives have been shaping us into fully grown and responsible adults. By then, it's usually too late, hence the coining of the term "mid-life crisis." It's normal, even for people who are aware of the situation, to speed at around 100 MPH without stopping. When we finally run out of gas, perhaps the true feeling of "old" begins. That's not a bad thing. When we hit that stage in life, it's more or less providing for the ones who cared for us, our parents, and nurturing legacies in our offspring. All the supposed fun in our young adult lives, or what we think would be fun had finances not been an issue, eventually turn almost pointless. The money we dedicate ourselves to earning has become an avenue for other people, not for ourselves. The best part is that we don't regret it and we long for that inevitable  and previously fleeting independence.

So, while we still can, let's enjoy the whims of college. The beauty of seeing people grow, from freshmen to seniors, embody the human spirit and its growth. We'll cry at our friends engagements and quiver at disastrous news. It'll be beautiful to see the young men and women we fall for but saddening to realize that a first love usually isn't a last love. Through that, we'll make friendships that last. We meet our best man and our bridesmaids. One way or another, usually reluctantly, we study and learn. I think people usually want to learn about love but chemistry usually takes priority to that. The McDonald's runs are filled with guilt and joy. And our patience is tested beyond normal means, for when the longing is finally sated, we reap the abundance of fruit awaiting us. Then, in our inability to remember why else our college lives were so amazing, we tell our children "just trust me." By then, we've learned to do all of these things but in a family setting. I think that'll be awesome.

Yep. I'm going to miss college.

On being "friend-zoned" and how to handle it

Love