Is it really 2015?
As the clock ticked down to 2015, I sat on my bed, covered in sheets, an iPhone in hand, playing Cookie Jam. With the cable box now in my room, my parents sat around the television in obligatory anticipation of the ball drop. The countdown soon started but I barely noticed, instead entranced with matching pixels of color on my phone. I usually liked watching the ball drop on TV, but, for some reason, I just didn't really care this year. Maybe it was because I figured January 1st would be little different from December 31st. A simple change in time, from 11:59 to 12:00, seemed hardly relevant. If people made resolutions every time a day passes onto another, then maybe we'd actually see some change. Sometime after the clock hit 12, my mom mentioned something about 2015 being a big year for me. I guess she was right, seeing as I'm graduating this year. I thought about it for a moment and immediately remembered all the job applications I had yet to submit. School suddenly seemed so irrelevant and distant. On the beginning of one of the biggest years of my life, I decided to play a game instead of celebrating in some weird memorial. A part of me couldn't grasp the reality of the situation, that I was transitioning towards the adult life I had spent the last 21 years prepping for. The other side of me expected this, almost in uncontrollable excitement for 2015 to begin.
All the New Years of past have been met with some sort of compelled optimism but at least I had an idea of where I was going. I think the transition between high school and college was the most uncertain period of my life, but either way, I knew I was going to continue my education one way or another. Celebrating New Years then was a complete coming of age I couldn't avoid. This coming of age, however, is something I can mold into whatever I want, whether it be in a different country or within the vicinity of my home.
I think it was then I realized that New Years is such a celebrated event because people don't know what's to come. The excitement of the unknown, the allure of what's possible, and ultimately a sense of forgiveness are what dictates what a New Year encompasses. Clean slates are hard to come by but society has made this event just that: an ironic chance to redo everything but with all the caveats of the previous year.
None of that made much sense to me when I pondered upon it some more, that is the makings of a present with resources of the past. It's not as if 2015 abruptly erases all mortgages and student debt. But even this depressing disposition does little to hinder the hope of the human spirit and that is the single humanistic feature keeping new beginnings afloat. If even a brief instant can be spent in blissful ignorance, and mind you a good one at that, then it would be now.
I have no idea what 2015 has in store for me. Things could become better or worse. I might find the perfect career path or I might find myself an unemployment statistic to fuel the comment section of online news articles. Maybe I'll meet someone special or lose a friend, maybe in relationship but perhaps in passing. Some of these things I don't want to find out but I will nonetheless. If there's one thing that New Years has taught me, it's that life is most sacred and unforgettable in moments of reverence of the same exact thing.
When 2015 inevitably ends, I hope to be well enough to publish something for 2016.