Is Christianity Boring and Uncool?
A few days earlier, while sitting on my computer, I came to the odd realization that I never really published anything on Christianity for my blog. For some reason, the topic never really clicked for me. It wasn't that I didn't want to talk about my faith but more so I figured it a dull and mundane topic, essentially something that would rack up little to no views for my blog. My reasons didn't stop there because I then thought of all my friends, many of whom I met before I made the decision to follow Jesus. For those people, I didn't want to seem like a different person. I wanted to be known as Kevin, the same person they knew and still know. It was clear: I hated the notion of other people thinking I changed, and presumably bad change at that, but I was still advocating for a God who is exactly just that. Serving in a college ministry comes with plenty of caveats. The things expected of me were basic foundations of my supposed faith, yet I found it hardest to properly maintain. While I'm with the friends I serve with, it's easy to be myself, without the lingering sign on my head stating I'm a Christian. At the core of everything, however, the whole point of a college ministry, that is to reach out to non-believers, became an awkward clashing of self-identity. One side of me professed Christ but the other shrugged off the burdens that come with following Jesus. I didn't want to seem weird, boring, or crazy. A lot of the things I did became attached with an overlying thought of compromise. I bargained with myself a deal that allowed me a taste of both worlds, with a switch I had the trigger to and not God.
One of the things I often dreaded when reuniting with old friends is the chance that they'll bring up something about my faith or the church I attend. I groaned at the bombastic friend, who would go on about all the things they knew about the Bible and how it justifies their non-belief. I spoke with avoidance to the ones who speak to me in a disappointing tone, almost as if I dropped out of college or something. These were the people God commissioned me to speak to about Him but I had little desire to do any of that. At times I did try, whether it be bringing up a few testimonies or answering questions they had, but it usually ended up in naught and only more resilience.
I remember speaking to a friend of mine a few months back. He asked me what I did for fun with my Christian friends, to which I told him the general gist: board games, movies, and maybe the occasional night out at a restaurant. Almost instantaneously he deemed the things I did on a daily basis as a huge bore. To me, these were the things I found fun. I enjoyed the company of friends without a reliance on overly-expensive trips or alcohol to accompany a regular hangout at someone's house. Still, his words made me think twice about speaking about why I decided to become Christian. In many ways, I began associating the worth of the Gospel, and everything about it, with how fun a Christian has to be in order to reflect Jesus' sacrifice.
Above all else, relying on myself proved to be fruitless. I should have known, seeing as I started focusing everything on me and not God. Somehow, I had forgotten every single verse that talks about relying on God. Philippians 4:13 was a distant memory and Proverbs 3:5 was something out of a foreign book. It didn't matter how many sermons I listened to or how educated I was in apologetics. Everything came back to a stubborn insistence that I had to mold myself to be like everyone else instead of telling people about Jesus, the one person different from the rest of us; it was an insane cycle.
If the Good News of Jesus isn't the main draw and representation of us as Christians, then there is nothing else worth becoming for the rest of the world. The point of the Gospel and my declaration of the existence of Jesus should make me different but a good different at that. If people see me in a different light, then what God has done in me has been a blessing. Conforming to the antics of the world blends people into a clump, indiscernible for any true meaning. This isn't about how much I've changed over the past few years but about what made me change. For that, only Jesus explains everything and there is nothing uncool about that.