Am I too good for her? Is she too good for him?

Am I too good for her? Is she too good for him?

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There's one thing my mom always tells me when it comes to finding a wife. She starts off in an almost defeated demeanor, as if she were cautioning me of impending danger and I always know when this speech is coming. My mom would say "always find a girl who treats you well." She'll then go on saying how she thinks I'll treat my wife too well, which would inevitably lead her to take advantage of me. I tell my mom not to worry, that I'll remember everything she says, but really, I wouldn't be surprised if her warnings were actually prophecies. It's not too uncommon to hear people say "she's too good for him" or vice-versa. I've heard these sentiments all too often and share a lot of them as well. I can't count how many times I've told someone I couldn't believe a couple was still together. Sometimes it's true, whether it be a clearly toxic relationship or one that lacks in initiative and communication. It's easy to take sides in these situations by shifting blame onto an individual and exonerating the other of all wrongdoing. Here's the common thought: the guy (or girl) had the right idea on how a relationship should progress and be, while the other girl (or guy) had no clue on any matters.

Hence, the idea of relationship superiority is born. On one hand, it's easy to take the compliment of being "too good for him," because it's a direct testament of a person's character. I've seen couples where I firmly believed one person had many of the desirable traits sought for in a lover, while the other reeked of some putrid filth who happened to a win a lottery. It puzzled me to think why? Why did she date him? What in the world could she have seen in that bumbling buffoon. She is out of his league and everyone around me thinks the same.

It's cruel to even think about these things, mostly because we already know which couples we're going to target. In a way, it's hilariously obvious why we do this. For one, we sure as heck aren't dating the other person - we probably wouldn't for all the money in the world - so we see nothing of value in that. Then there's the whole issue of confidence, that somehow he's this attractive figure for the girl you believe is the embodiment of everything you could dream of as your significant other. It's a slap in the face to essentially see a person you believe is devoid of any worth being with another person you find a pulchritude of everything.

Out comes the injustice of the world. Thinking one person is too good for the other is a unfortunate manifestation of a personal mindset of equality. For whatever reason, we all have this rudimentary belief that love happens for reasons defined by the universe, usually in some divinely appointed approval. In other words, it's meant to be. It's so easy to simply categorize every relationship as forevermore, and through that, become angry at what is seemingly an obviously unjustified antic of the world.

Thinking someone is too good for another person is a little like putting together a machine and buying a single premium part, but otherwise assembling it with scraps. The initial thought is "what a shame" because the premium piece could've been used with similar quality material. In this case, that $1000 part is simply too good to be running with rubbish and its unfortunate it has to do so. The reaction is to take it apart in hopes of salvaging that one piece. More often than not, however, it's a little too late. What's left of the remnants is a molded piece that has a myriad of blemishes, disfigured by the scraps it used to be associated with.

So, I don't know if I'll ever be too good for someone or if, in actuality, I'll be too good for the other person. People will always talk about who's the better person in a relationship, and it's normal, either in sticking up for a closer friend, or in utter awe at the insane decisions people make out of seeking companionship. It'll be forever true, just like my mom would say, that she really might be too good for him or he could've surely found someone a little saner. But that's what love sometimes is: the capacity to enjoy someone's presence, despite all their shortcomings. When it becomes too tiring to think about why she's dating him or why he's marrying her, that's what we should be reminded of.

But let's be honest: she's too good for him.

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